Many people struggle with asking for help, often viewing it as a sign of weakness. However, seeking assistance is actually a demonstration of strength and self-awareness. I felt compelled to write this blog because I understand how difficult it can be to reach out, especially when you need it most. 

Growing up as the daughter of immigrant parents, I witnessed their struggles, complaints and felt that asking for help was something I couldn’t do. I didn’t want to add to their burdens. This mindset, coupled with experiences of rejection when asking for help, led me to believe that I had to handle everything on my own. Maintaining that belief and keeping quiet, would result in years of carrying unnecessary stress, anxiety, repeating the same complaints I heard and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I developed a belief that not asking for help meant I was strong, that I had to prove I could do it all on my own.

Yet, as humans, our ability to thrive is rooted in community and support. I learnt through the random kindness of strangers who’d become friends, that true strength lies in recognizing that life can be much easier when we stop trying to do it all alone. Just like a brand like Apple needs a team to succeed, we too need support to reach our goals.

Understanding the Barriers

Many hesitate to ask for help due to fear of judgment, pride, or feeling like a burden. This fear is often rooted in past experiences of rejection or being reminded of the sacrifices others have made for us. Not asking for help tends to lead to internal pressure and hinder personal and professional growth. For instance, starting a business requires reaching out to potential customers and clients, sharing our efforts with those in our network. Without external support, owning a business can feel tougher, seeing income slower, and not being able to deliver a positive impact to those who need it.

Shifting Your Mindset

Changing your perception of asking for help is crucial. View it as a collaborative effort rather than a sign of weakness. I’ve learned that not having help can be more taxing on your mental, physical and spiritual health. Stress can lead to a cycle of weight gain due to increased cortisol levels, more confusion, frustration and feeling as if there are no options. Instead of seeing help as taboo, recognize it as a faster way to succeed in the long term. It’s not about seeking support from just anyone, but from those who will encourage growth and self-awareness.

When reaching out to the right people in asking for help, it’s important to think of someone who is:

• Open minded and welcomes new ideas.
• Encourages growth and focuses on solutions.
• Doesn’t dwell on the past or prioritize gossiping about others.
• Actively living in harmony with their values.
• Happily celebrates the progress and wins of others without judgment.

Journal prompts to start feeling comfortable asking for help:

• Reflect on why you hesitate to ask or don’t feel comfortable. What specific thoughts are stopping you from asking for help or reaching out to different people?
• How is it impacting how you feel on a daily basis?
• What would it be like if you did ask for help and receive it?
• How would you feel? What could life look like?
• What new thoughts could help you feel empowered in asking?
• What new actions could support those thoughts?

Mindset Shifts to Make Asking for Help Easier

Even the most successful leaders in business will note to ask for help. Reaching out to everyone in their network and following up, because they know their desired progress can happen faster if done. Here are some thoughts I shifted to, that made it feel much easier to reach out:

• Just because one person says no, that doesn’t mean ‘everyone else’ will.
• You could receive 50 no’s, but person 51 might provide the exact help you’ve needed.
• If something isn’t working, why not change your approach until it does?
• Free resources are out there until you can invest in any paid.
• It’s okay to ask for help even if you think you’re in a less than ideal situation.
• Asking for help is an investment in your overall wellbeing for now and the long term.

Practical Steps to Ask for Help

1. Identify What You Specifically Need. Reflect on the specific support you require.
2. Start Small. You can build confidence by asking for help with minor tasks.
3. Choose the Right Person. Reach out to someone you trust and who can provide the help you need.
4. Communicate Clearly. Be direct and specific about your needs. Offer leveraging skills or time.
5. Express Gratitude. Show appreciation to those who help, fostering positive relationships.

The Benefits of Asking for Help

We cannot receive help if no one knows we need it, and we need to remember there are options:

• There are free communities online that can be found on Facebook, sites like Eventbrite or Meetup.com.
• Local help lines or crisis lines, apps that offer free counselling or practices to clear our minds.
• Those who we may not have spoken to in a while, or who may know someone we can reach out to.
• Community leaders, workplace managers or those in human resources.

Asking for help from the right people can improve your mental, physical, and spiritual health. It allows you to feel supported and strengthens your inner resilience. Personal growth is akin to education; it requires guidance and support. The world’s top athletes have coaches to help them excel, notice what they might not see, provide alternate perspectives, strategies, and help them implement practices to result in desired outcomes.

We have that same ability to access support, no matter what our circumstances seem like. Embracing the act of asking for help can transform your life. It can open doors to opportunities you never could’ve imagined, strengthens relationships, and enhances personal growth. Remember, seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but a step towards a more fulfilling and successful life.

✨ If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or frustrated about your circumstances, and you need a judgment free space to explore new ideas – I’ve opened up spots for a complimentary strategy session to Break Free from Survival Mode.