Feeling fulfilled is a profound experience that arises from meeting our spiritual needs. When I mention “spiritual,” think of it as a sense of something bigger than ourselves – a desire for growth and fulfillment that comes when we feel we are contributing to something greater or expressing the truest version of ourselves. It’s about finding meaning and living meaningfully, recognizing that we are all interconnected and part of a greater whole. Brené Brown, a renowned speaker and professor on courage, shame, and vulnerability, beautifully captures this idea: “Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives. Spirituality can be personal and doesn’t necessarily have to be religious.

Many of us grow up without having our sense of fulfillment nurtured. Societal pressures often push us to conform, and traditional educational systems are designed for the masses rather than tailored to individual strengths and interests. As children, we’re encouraged to dream big – imagining ourselves as astronauts, artists, or builders of fantastical creations. However, as we grow older, these dreams are often dismissed as unrealistic or impractical. We hear phrases like “that doesn’t pay well” or “you need to grow up,” which can stifle our inner dreamer and visionary spirit. As a result, many people reach adulthood feeling disconnected, having achieved what they were told to but not feeling fulfilled. They may feel trapped in unfulfilling jobs or relationships, believing it’s too late to change. Tony Robbins suggests that true fulfillment comes from meeting our needs for significance through two primary avenues: contribution and competition. By exploring these paths, we can rediscover our passions and create a life that aligns with our true selves.

Understanding Fulfillment

When we feel fulfilled, it becomes easier to feel content, happy, and accepting in our day-to-day lives. Fulfillment involves meeting our needs and finding meaning in life, as humans naturally give meaning to everything.

Contribution

Seeking significance through contribution involves helping others and making a positive impact, no matter how small the role. Every role, like that of a cleaner, is valuable and contributes to the well-being of society. Imagine the impact of a cleaner: without them, we’d face unclean environments, unpleasant smells, and potential health risks. Their work ensures that our communities are pleasant and healthy places to live and work. Contribution enhances relationships and creates a sense of connection. It fosters happier communities where people feel proud of where they live, work, and socialize.

The Blue Zones Project exemplifies how community-focused health initiatives can lead to significant improvements in well-being and reduced healthcare costs. These communities prioritize wellness through lifestyle habits known as the “Power 9,” which include moving naturally, having a sense of purpose, and maintaining strong social connections. By integrating these practices, residents not only enhance their physical health but also foster a sense of belonging and purpose. This collective approach to well-being demonstrates the power of contribution, as individuals support each other in leading healthier, more fulfilling lives. The Blue Zones show us that by adopting these principles, we can significantly increase our life expectancy and quality of life, illustrating the profound impact of community and shared values on personal fulfillment.

Competition

Seeking significance through competition involves comparing ourselves to others and striving for success. While this drive can fuel personal growth and achievement, it can also lead to stress and isolation if not balanced. Consider a CEO working 60-hour weeks to gain a competitive edge. They may achieve financial success but at the cost of personal relationships and health, missing out on family events and running on minimal sleep.

However, competition can also be a catalyst for innovation and positive change. An Experience team at a marketing agency might put together an activation for a brand to showcase the brand’s offerings and impact. This collaborative effort not only drives the team to excel but also fosters creativity and innovation to position the brand as a leader in its industry. By highlighting the brand’s unique value and engaging with the target audience in meaningful ways, the team can enhance the brand’s reputation and market presence, demonstrating how healthy competition can lead to significant achievements and growth. Reflect on your own workplace or those of friends who have experienced environments that prioritize employee wellness. Initiatives such as flexible work hours, wellness programs, or offering mental health days can create a supportive environment that fosters camaraderie and a sense of belonging. These practices not only improve employee satisfaction but also give companies a competitive advantage by attracting and retaining top talent. By creating a culture that values well-being, organizations can harness the positive aspects of competition to drive success while maintaining a healthy, engaged workforce.

Balancing Contribution and Competition

Here are some tips to integrate both:

• Gain Clarity on Your Purpose: Take time to reflect on your professional skills and life experiences to understand your current path and what truly drives you. Consider what activities make you feel most alive and fulfilled. By identifying your ‘why,’ you can align your career and relationships with this sense of purpose, ensuring that your daily actions contribute to a goal that’s more meaningful to you.
• Acknowledge Interconnectedness: Recognize that your career, relationships, and health are deeply interconnected. Success in one area often influences the others. By aligning all aspects of your life with your purpose, you create a harmonious balance. If you love what you do, this passion can enhance your energy and positivity, which in turn strengthens your relationships and boosts your overall well-being. You may find yourself more motivated, engaged, and able to contribute meaningfully to both your personal and professional life. Conversely, if you dislike your job, it can lead to unwanted stress that seeps into your personal life. You might find yourself feeling irritable or exhausted, which can negatively impact conversations with loved ones, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts. This stress can also manifest physically, affecting your sleep, energy levels, and overall health.
• Focus on Healthy Competition: Instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, focus on competing with yourself to improve and grow. Set personal goals and challenge yourself to reach new heights, whether it’s learning a new skill, improving your health, or enhancing your relationships. Nurture this mindset by celebrating small victories and viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth. By practicing self-compassion and resilience, you can maintain motivation and continue progressing toward your personal best.

Balancing contribution and competition is key to feeling fulfilled. Reflect on your life and consider if there’s a deeper need not being addressed. Ask yourself how your current actions make you feel and how you want to feel. To break free from societal expectations and constraints, start by exploring personal interests or seeking mentorship. It’s okay if you’ve been experiencing dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfillment – this is completely normal. What can become your new normal is consciously designing your life, rather than living by default or according to others’ expectations.

➡️Are you ready to explore creating a life aligned with your values? See if we vibe and how we can work together.